Remembering

I have been away for a while, honestly, enjoying some time with my children, not caring enough to share. Selfish, heh, maybe, but hey, this is my blog!

And then there is today, as I sit here at my desk with a knot in my stomach true sadness in my heart and know that writing will help.

On this day, eight years ago, I had dropped Schmoogie off at Gram's and was on my way to my office. Rockin to the tunes, singing out loud, cuz no one was listening, when just like that, the music turned to somber news of confusion and illogical chaos.

As I listened in disbelief, I continued my commute. Arriving to my office was strange, as those who made it there just moments before me scurried me to the radio, where we stood in a circle, listening. At the time, we weren't at all sure what we were listening to, and had no idea the magnitude of what was actually happening.

Little did we know that we were experiencing history, like none other that we had been alive to witness.

I cannot relive the terror I felt in my heart that day as we heard that people were jumping to their deaths, that the terrorists actually sacrificed themselves in the name of God, to torment Americans and for what?

After the smoke began to clear, and the real effects of that tragic morn actually began to sink in, I remember the solidarity that followed. You couldn't go anywhere without seeing an American Flag. People were kinder. We took turns easier. We looked out for one another, without reserve. This country turned into one big family for months to come following such crisis. You felt that strangers were no longer strange, but instead they were kind, gentle, neighbors. I wish we could always live that way, without having to live through a tragedy first. This country was different, it was changed forever.

Today, I remember those who perished for no reason, and those who continue to fight for our country, so those who perished did not do so in vein.

God Bless America today, and everyday.

Peace....for real.
P

He's getting the BIG Truck

"When I get bigger Mommy, I 'm gonna get a BIG truck, wif BIG lights, and BIG seats, and BIG tires, just like my Dad." Announces the Noodle Doodle on the way to drop off at daycare today, hands flying all around as I gaze at him in the rear view mirror.

"Oh yea, a BIG truck, huh?"

"Yeah, Mommy, wif big lights, just like my Dad's."

(we're still working on the "th" sound)

His hands are making that BIG gesture, so big I thought he might crack himself in the head.

"Oh, sounds nice."

"You know, Mommy, I already am bigger, I mean when I get really bigger, that's when I'm gonna get that BIG truck."

He wants to be big so bad. Today I will try to start accepting that!

Peace.

Noodles Big Sleep Over

“Hey Noodle, do you want to sleep over at Grandma's tonight”, my mother so lovingly asked my baby.

“Sure, GaMa, I will love to sleep at GaMa's house”. He answered with affirmation.

My heart dropped and I lost my breath for a split second.

Noodle has never, ever, ever, even remotely, had one drip of desire to sleep outside of our home, and has never, ever had the need to. He has been asked before, and declined. He has attempted to stay out and changed his mind last minute. And, never, has there been such a definitive YES!

OMG, I wanted to pass out. He'll change his mind, I told myself to calm the about to come on panic attack.

Why?

Why did I react like this?

Schmoogie had slept over my parent’s house a gazillion times by the time he was Noodle's age. He had slept at my grandmothers, my sister-in-laws, even at a girl friend’s house, and I never felt like this. For the love of God, why, oh why, did I have such trouble with this?

After a mulling it over, missing him so bad it actually hurt, and then yearning to pick him up. After having him run into my arms to embrace a gigantic hug, kisses galore, a million and one I missed you’s, and then wishing for a moment's peace, I asked myself again, WHY did I react that way?

Well, he is my baby. He and I have one of those relationships, he's a mama's boy good boy, and he's my baby, oh I already said that, and, he’s my last, need I say more?

When our first bones are little, we cannot wait for their accomplishments, it's as if we want them to experience everything by the time they are a year old, and it’s insane, really. Once you experience just how fast it all goes by, you learn to embrace the little ones, and their stages.

This time, second child, I KNOW how fast it goes, and quite frankly, I don’t want to let go of his baby innocence. I am like this with every step of his existence, Noodle walked later than Schmoogie, he spoke later than Schmoogie, and we didn’t even correct his speech until recently. And, it is all okay; we weren’t as vigorous in the coaching, because I don’t want him to get big.

He stayed the night at my parent’s house, without crisis. I called three thirteen times, and by 5:05 last night, I had him back in my arms. I put him to sleep in my bed and just schmooched him all up, we snuggled, and I fell asleep with his warm (still baby) breath in my face, and I loved every minute of it.

I know I sound selfish, but a baby is only a baby for a short time, and I love my baby!!

Peace.

This is why I am so Happy!!

Big D rings the office at about 8:45 a.m.

"Everything O.K.?" I ask.

"Yeah, yeah, everything is fine. I just wanted to tell you the cutest thing that Noodle said to me on the way to daycare this morning."

I'm thinking something to do with Father's Day (or Farta's Day as Noodle says).

"Daddy, I am gonna miss Mommy today."

"Aww Noodle, that's so sweet, are you gonna miss Daddy too?"

"No, Daddy, just Mommy"

I have to tell you, That. Made. My. Day.

I miss him too, every Monday I miss both of my boys. It really is tough getting back into the work week groove after spending the entire weekend together.

Just to think that Big D would unselfishly pass that dialogue on to put a smile on my face.

Even though, the Noodle Doodle totally blew him off, he still gave me my props. That is why he is the best husband and Daddy ever and I am so happy!!

Big hugs all around tonight when the workday is over!
Peace.

Noodle's in Trouble

Noodle came home from school (daycare) with a laundry list of infractions for the day. Doesn't happen often, as he is a relatively well behaved child.

Surprised, I acted so. Bright eyed and that NOOOO? is what I exuded, not knowing that it was only the first on the list.

"Mommy, I said potty words."

"Tell Mommy what else you did" Big D coaches from the couch.

"Oh. And. What? What Daddy, what else I did?" He had already forgotten.

"Tell her what you said to Miss. D." He is smiling at me from the couch, as I am left to be the disciplinarian in the kitchen.

"Oh. That, Mommy I say "NO" to Miss D."

The eyes widen and the NOOOO becomes, NOOOOOOOOOO!

"And tell her what else, Noodle." Comes from the cheerleader Dad.

"What else? There's more?" The eyes were bulging at this point.

"Oh, and I hit my friends."

"OH MY Noodle!"

A brief lecture loaded with disappointment, drenched with Mommy guilt and sprinkled with an affectionate expectation occurs and the tot decides he will NEVER do those things again.

Giggles from the other side of the couch are muffled by a throw pillow. Yes, Schmoogie found humor in all of this.

Why? I asked myself, well, why not? Noodle doesn't give us much grief and is rarely "in trouble." Schmoogie, on the other hand, is the king of punishment in our house. I guess he thought it was funny that someone else was getting the disappointed bulging eye NO's instead of him.

Kids.
Turned out to be a good night!
Peace.

Field Day 09

He awoke with a sparkle in his eyes and a smile on his face that you could see for a mile. It was afterall, the most wonderful day of the school year, FIELD DAY!

Decked out in his favorite silky shorts, the official Field Day t-shirt, fastest sneakers he owns, clean socks and his coolest undies, he enters my bathroom and applies deodorant. "Mom, I'm Ready" declares Schmoogie. He is all set for the big day!

The cooler is packed, we are armed with energy enhancing goods, including carrots, cucumber slices, water bottles and juice bags for the class.

The rain gives way and allows the sweet sun to shine through. It will be a great day. Dolce and Gabanna's on, we are off.

I explain to the Schmoog~Master in the car that I, as a child wasn't as enthused about field day. "See Schmoogie, they didn't have fourth and fifth place ribbons, the didn't have "participation" ribbons, so I, very rarely ever got a ribbon."

I go on to tell him "one time I remember receiving the first place blue ribbon for the tug of war." (You know tug of war is a class event, and the win was no thanks to me, that's for sure!)

Quick stop for breakfast sandwiches and we arrive the school.

We eat breakfast at one of the picnic tables.

Set up our sheet under his classes tent.

Carry over the cooler and into the classroom to help Mrs. B apply tattoo's on all of Schmoogie's classmates' arms.

Out to the field for the day to begin...

Second place in the 50 yard dash.

First place in the 400 meter race.

First place for the three legged race he so eloquently won with his pal from his class!

Now it's time for tug of war. I lead the class in chants to encourage their enthusiasm, have them flex their tiny muscles to arouse their adrenalin flow, chicken dance their finger tips to get them ready for an ultra tight grip on that rope. One of the Dads spell out some more strategy. First you dig your feet, then lean back and pull! And they are on. Mrs. B's Bolts are strong, the girls turn up the girl power and the anchors are secure.

PUUUUULLLLLL! The parents, janitors and other school staff cheer them on.

They were psyched. They did really well, blew away the first competitors, and were ready for the next. Only, the next team was big, they had been practicing, they looked ready, I was nervous, but our kids were ready too.

PUUUULLLLLLL!

They got us, but hey, we did well, 2nd place, not too shabby!

At the conclusion of the morning activities, I make my way to my office. Big D will stay and enjoy the afternoon's water events.

The most wonderful day of the school year was exciting, fun and a great time for the kids to let loose, and have some fun. It was great! Congrats Schmoogie, you rock!!

Peace.

UPK for Noodle?

Our school district began offering a UPK program two years ago. I was thrilled, because Noodle will qualify, or so i thought, this September.

Our elementary school is UPK through 4th grade. Next year, Schmoogie will be in fourth grade, and Noodle becomes UPK age eligible. Perfect, Noodle will get to ride the bus with Schmoogie and get acclimated to the school making the kindergarten transition a breeze, right? WRONG.

It's a huge game, and we came out losers.

Mark your calendars for one of the coldest days in April that we have ever had and go wait outside of the building where registration will take place. Get there early (like 6:00 am, early), because space is limited, and it's first come first served procedure.

I arrive early, not 6 am early, but early enough. I stand outside freezing with the dozens of other parents eager to get their 4 (or almost 4) year olds into Pre-K. With necessary paperwork in hand, I make a mental checklist. Birth certificate, check. Tax returns, yes I said tax returns, check. Immunization record, check. Utility bill, check. I am all set.

UPK is a half day program, whereby you select am or pm class times, and need to have daycare lined up for the other part of the day. First and second year UPK classes included two am and two pm classes and, you could request that they bus your child to your daycare center afterwards, perfect! CHECK, CHECK, CHECK!!!

I excitedly complete the necessary paperwork and stand in line, waiting for two hours to finally be greeted by the Registrar, who informs me:

There will only be one am and one pm class, unless the budget changes. We no longer bus to your daycare choice. Because Noodle will not turn four by September, he cannot board the bus, you will need to drive him until his 4th birthday. Low income families, and those with special needs will get priority.

Check, check....CHECK OUT! Why didn't they tell me this before???

Call me dumb, but I remain hopeful. Maybe the second set of classes will open up and I could drive him back and forth for two month, oh, and maybe I will get a babysitter or a Nanny, at least Noodle will get to ride the bus with Schmoogie for most of of his first year of academics.

WHAT AM I CRAZY?! Well, as it turns out, yes, I am crazy.

Months have past without notification, so I call the UPK coordinator. Here is what I heard...

Noodle is number 7 on the waiting list. We had more indigent applicants this year than usual, and they have filled up most of the available slots. Unless another class opens, it sounds like your son will not be able to attend.

WHAT!?

I wonder how much those who were accepted pay in school taxes each year. OH YES I DID GO THERE! I am pretty burned by this whole procedure.

So, he will stay at his daycare, who offers a wonderful Pre-K program, for next year, and will have to board the bus without his big bro, should be interesting. As usual, I am keeping a positive attitude that he will not hang on my leg to the point of being shaken off to get on that kindergarten bus.

Peace.

Deductions de Noodle

Mommy, the car wash is open. Your car is dirty. We should go to the car wash.

Mommy, I like cats. Cats are soft and cozy. We should get a cat.

Mommy, who's light sabor is that?
I got it for B for Christmas, but he already had one, so I am going to save it for the drop box next Christmas.
Oh, well, I don't have a light sabor. I like light sabors. You should buy that one for me.

Ahh, the delicious deductions of a three year old. If life was only so simple. 'Tis the reason I have such angst about my children "growing up". It's such a bittersweet evolution. I love that they learn, discover and mature, but I fear that the "real" world will corrupt their sweet little selves.

Logic and reasoning skills are so innocently developed at such a young age. Why then as we age, do we allow that very innocence to be dipped in evil which becomes deception and manipulation?

Didn't set out to have a negative post, hmmmm.

Peace.

No Adult, No Pool, That's our Rule!

While rounding out the holiday weekend at a friend's house, the kids were all geared up for a fun-filled afternoon of swimming and bbq.

"The rule is no one in the pool without an adult there," the hostess reminds the kids as they run towards the pool area.

Sighs, grunts and groans come from six very anxious children all ready for a sweet dip in the 82 degree heated pool.

"Come on Mom, I am a good swimmer," declares Schmoogie.

"Not my rule, not our pool. Sorry Schmoogie," my clever response.

As I assist our hostess with the final touches, Big D steps up to the plate and steps into lifeguard mode. The splashing begins.

Noodle, who always wears swimmies and holds onto a noodle or kickboard decides to jump in with the kickboard, sans swimmies. Big D is impressed.

Seconds later, Noodle lets go of the kickboard and sinks to the bottom of the pool. The lifeguard, decked out in his party gear, cell phone in one pocket, cash and wallet in the other, jumps in the pool and retrieves the very shaken Noodle.

After the scare, the day progresses without further incident, all is well. Glad I spent all that money on swimming lessons.

A rude awakening to say the least, considering our pool will be open on June 4th. Over dinner last night, I reminded my darling children that the previous day's event could have yielded a very different outcome, had Big D not been there. It was dramatic conversation, it needed to be. I made the announcement that there will be no swimming, no children in the pool area without an adult, no exceptions.

Sure, there was a little grief from Schmoogie, then the reminder that he didn't even notice his baby brother at the bottom of the pool, and even if he had, he couldn't have done anything to help him. Grief ceases.

For the first time, I am nervous about our pool.

Peace.

Bottle It Up

While driving the babysitter home last night, this song was playing on the radio, and I couldn’t help but immediately make a mental list of what I would bottle up right now, if I could.

Rounding out the top of my list are:

~ My baby’s sweet innocence, I wish I could keep him this age forever,
~ My Schmoogie’s giggle induced dimple and his sweet smile,
~ The warmth of Big D’s touch and his ability to make me smile, inside and out,
~ The soothing sound of the laughter I share with my children when we convert my kitchen floor into a dance floor, and,
~ Kisses, hugs and those special smiles that replace a kiss or a hug from across the room.

The list could go on and on, but those were first to come to mind.

If only I could bottle it up, I would, “do it for love”.

I have always enjoyed the tune of this song, now it seems to sound just a tad sweeter.

Peace.

Kiss-Miss - Kiss-You

“Oh, I lik-a da geen shirt mama, it’s like kiss-miss”, says Noodle.

“Kiss-miss? Kiss ME,” I immediate reply.

“I didn’t say kiss me, I said kiss miss”.

“I know, but it sounded like you wanted to kiss a miss and I am a miss”.

“No mommy”, giggles the delicious Noodle. “I said KISS-MISS, like SANTA”! “ You know, Santa, Mommy”.

“Oh, silly Mommy, I thought you wanted me to kiss you”!

He continues to get himself dressed.

AAA-choooo…

“Bless you Noodle”.

“Thank you. Mommy, I need a tissue”.

Running with the tissue behind my back, I smooch him all up.

Giggle, Giggle.

“Mommy, I need a tissue”!

“Oh, I thought you said Kiss You”!

“I said tissue, not kiss you! Mommy, you so funny. I always love you”.

“I always love you too Noodle”.

Peace.

Welcome Baby Javula!

My mother, after celebrating her birthday on this day for 59 years, welcomes her sixth grandchild, with whom she will now share April 21st.

Today, I introduce my brand new baby niece, Javula (pseudo-name). Weighing in at a healthy 8 pounds 2 ounces she made her debut at 1:40 a.m. via cesarean section (it was a valiant effort, Meglet). My brother and my sister in law are thrilled about the arrival of the third, first girl child, to their family!

Excitement fills my heart today, as I await the time I can go and meet the new addition to our family. I cannot wait to hold her ever so gently in my arms and smell that precious new baby smell as I gaze into her eyes with wonderment of what will she be?

Who will she look like? Who will she act like? Will she be shy, outgoing, silly, funny?

How will she embrace the world and relish in all it has to offer, head on, or with reservation?

However and whatever she is, she will be precious, she will be unique, she will be Javula, and she will be loved.

Welcome, new baby girl!

Peace.

Isn't 60 Nifty?

My mother is turning 60 on Tuesday.

In celebration, my grandmother, mother and I are spending the day at the Spa tomorrow. We are destined to have an amazing day. Three generations of girly girl-ness, sounds delightful.

I wanted to write about her birthday to not only wish her the best of birthdays ever, but also to remind her that I love her deeply, appreciate her even more, and treasure our memories immensely.

My mother and I do not always see eye to eye, but our hearts do. We respect established boundaries and always make the best effort to make the other happy.

It's at milestone birthday's like these that allow you reflect on those things that are really important. Those things like family. Those irreplaceable relationships that are so dear. I feel it important to remember these relationships need nourishment. They need to always be challenged to see just how many memories can be stuffed into them.

Many feel these types of relationships should be easy, ones that just work on their own. Not true. I think if more people worked harder at making their relationships better, they too may be better, in so many ways.

Back to Mom:

Today I wish my mother the happiest of birthdays. I am so looking forward to our date at the spa tomorrow, just one more memory to stuff in!

I love you and thank you for providing me with the basis to be the best person I can be, and more importantly for pouring the foundation that makes me the Mother I am today.

Happy Birthday Mom! Make this year one of your best years yet!!

Your daughter,

P

Peace.